I believe that there is a certain charm in being alone. In
fact the thought of being alone thrills me more than being with my friends. But
why do we love it so much? Why do we crave for some alone time when obviously
it is more profitable and entertaining to be with others? What is it that we
really crave for when we’re alone? Is it the space and the absence people
around us; is it the liberty to do whatever we want to? Then why do we get sick
of it after a while? We feel terrible, like there is no one to comfort us. Then
why want alone time at all? We might as well like looking at the sky through
the glass, but be too scared of going outside.
Perhaps we can answer this question by
thinking about how it feels to be alone. The high comes first. In this phase,
we feel happy. Not excited or crazy, but simply happy. Then we go absolutely bonkers,
we start dancing around the room, singing or in the likewise. Then we sit down and the revelation strikes:
what is the point of being crazy if we have no one to laugh at our antics. And
then we feel lonely and sad.
So why do we feel so good in the beginning? I think it is because
it feels like we have all the space in the world and we can spread our wings
however and whenever we want to. Or perhaps we like feeling as though we are
the only ones there. Or perhaps it makes us feel whole, and independent. We like to feel like we are the only ones who
matter.
But the most likely answer, I believe, keeping in mind our significance-obsessed
natures, is that we like feeling like we are the only ones who are doing
something. And although loneliness is basically the feeling of absence and
emptiness, it makes us feel like our activities are the only ones that matter.
Like the entire universe is just space, and when even a little bit of activity
takes place, it is as though a something spectacular has happened. It is
different, amazing, shocking and great. Perhaps we like to delude ourselves in
thinking that we are great. We enjoy feeling like we are significant and
consequential. Even if we acknowledge the fact that we are all already unique
we don’t want to be just another variation in the mercurial weather we want to
be the thunder in the clear sky. We like to feel starkly different to
everything around us. That is essentially how solitude makes us feel, like we
are the only ones who exist.
Then why get tired of it at all? Why not just continue
living in this bliss? It is the same reason that we get don’t want to eat
candies after a while. We realize that solitude is just not enough. We realize
that candies don’t taste that good unless we have to eat the disgusting
eggplant before it. And although this is a very controversial topic I still
will use it as a base because well, controversies are totally my thing. Solitude
is sweet but it causes cavities. So as a dentist would say, “You can have some
solitude but it will form the loneliness plaque that will make your disposition
full of cavities and very unattractive.”
